Social Phobia
If you are someone who suffers from Social Anxiety,or if you simply
describe your problem as shyness, there are going to be certain social
situations that you actually have begun to withdraw from because they
arouse such a high degree of anxiety in you, even though on a rational
level you can see perfectly well that your fears are unfounded.
The anxiety is centred around self image, anxiety about how you are
being percieved by others and whether or not they approve of you. Typically
the finger is pointed at something called low self esteem, but it would
be more accurate to say that if we experience high levels of this type
of anxiety, the root is a lack of self acceptance. We need to percieve
that others think we are ok, before we can relax and feel ok. The
simple solution to this is cut out the bit about needing to percieve
that others think we are ok before we can relax and feel ok and
just relax and feel ok, since we cannot control other peoples thoughts,
personalities attitudes and reactions and to a large extent , neither
can they. This is definitely the bottom line . Even if our egos are
very fragile and vulnerable we can safely treat them with a large measure
of complete non belief, since they are mostly a fiction selectively
created out of memory and sustained only by a compulsion to identify
- winner, loser; success, failure; confident ,diffident, and all grades
in between.
Perhaps we don't have to be any sort of a person cool or uncool and
perhaps each of us is supremely justified in thinking that whatever
way we appear to our selves or others in whatever situation is in fact
100% perfect, simply because we're alive that's all thats' required
and in fact it's freely given. In short we can relax, we don't have
to make sure that others get a favourable impression. If we respect
a persons life and liberty, but they have other expectations of us that
is their problem. You give the best energy you can to the situation,
you're not in control of their feelings and if you really think about
it why would you ever want to be? Unless you just love being stressed
by your imagination.
The phobic response is broken by beginning to take a stand in what
you know to be true and breaking the identification with false beliefs
about yourself in relation to others. Cognitive
Behavioural Hypnosis focuses directly on helping to make this shift
very clear within you.
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